THE MADNESS OF ALCOHOL.PART ONE.2013.

WHEN I LOOK BACK AT THE MADNESS OF MY ALCOHOLIC ABUSE,THE HEARTBREAK,THE SELF INFLICTED PAIN,THE PAIN TO OTHERS,THE DANGER,THE LONELINESS,THE FOOLISHNESS,AND AT TIMES LAUGHTER,THROUGH THE TEARS,I NOW KNOW WITH WISDOM BY MY SIDE,IT WAS ALL VANITY,
SUCH A SIMPLE HUMAN CREATION,WHICH WAS MEANT TO BE USED FOR THY HEALTH'S SAKE,AND NOT IN WAYS OF MY YOUTH,OR AS IN DAYS OF 2013.
A LOT OF MY FAMILY ARE DEAD DUE TO THE ABUSE OF ALCOHOL AND ITS VARIOUS OFFSHOOTS,BE THEY DRUGS,SMOKING,AND IN GENERAL HIGH OR LOW LIVING,EVEN MORE OF MY FRIENDS HAVE DIED FROM THE RAVAGES OF ABUSE,AND WEEKLY I WATCH,LISTEN AND SEE ITS EFFECTS UPON THOSE I KNOW,AND THOSE WHOM I DO NOT KNOW.

MY DRINKING BEGAN WHEN I WAS 14,IN WINTER,AND THAT WAS THE FIRST MY PARENTS KNEW THEIR SON WAS GROWING,IN WAYS OF HIS FOREFATHERS.
I WAS ROLLED IN THE SNOW BY MY MATES,AND WAS SOAKING THROUGH,AND HAD TO GO HOME TO CHANGE,BAD MOVE,I COULDN'T EVEN STAND,LET ALONE SPEAK,SUCH A BEATEN I GOT FROM MY MOTHER,I WAS LEFT BLACK AND BLUE,INSIDE AND OUT,FOR MY FIRST TRIP INTO ALCOHOL,AND WAS GROUNDED FOR WEEKS AFTERWARDS.
SO ABRUPT WAS MY INTRODUCTION INTO SELF DRINKING,YET ALL MY MATES WERE ALREADY HARDENED DRINKERS,IN THE VICES OF THE DEVILS BRU.
BUT IF TRUTH BE TOLD,I WAS ALREADY AN EXPERT IN DRINKING,LONG BEFORE I KNEW WHAT IT WAS,I WAS IN MY GENES,FOR MANY GENERATIONS,AND EVEN AS A CHILD I WAS SURROUNDED BY IT,CONSTANTLY.

THOUGH MY CHILDHOOD IS MISSING IN ACTION,AS IT WERE,AND STILL IS TO THIS DAY,I CALL IT THE BLOCK,THE SAFE PLACE FOR IT TO BE,FOR THERE ARE DARK PLACES I WISH NOT TO RETURN TOO FROM MY CHILDHOOD,I STRANGELY REMEMBER AT TIMES THE MADNESS OF ALCOHOL,AND ITS EFFECTS ON THOSE CLOSE TO ME,WHEN I WAS A CHILD.
THERE WERE MANY HAPPY TIMES,WHEN DRINK WASN'T ABOUT,I THINK,THOUGH I HAVE TO QUESTION THESE TIMES IN MY BROKEN MIND,AT TIMES,BECAUSE HAPPINESS NEVER LASTED LONG,IT WAS ALWAYS WAITING FOR ALCOHOL TO COME AND BURST ITS BUBBLE,WHICH IT DID,UNCHECKED.

IT WAS BAD ENOUGH CONTENDING WITH THE ABUSE OF THE SO CALLED BRIDES OF CHRIST,THE NUNS,OR GESTAPO,OR PENGUINS,WHICH WAS SYSTEMATIC AND DAILY,FOR ONES SO YOUNG IN MY DAY,WITH THE PERSONALITIES OF THE CLASS SINGLED OUT FOR SPECIAL ABUSE,HUMILIATION AND RIDICULE,AND OF COURSE I WAS ONE.
EVEN WORSE WAS HAVING A WELL KNOW PRIEST,AND PERSONALITY AS AN UNCLE,AND BROTHER OF MY MOTHER,WHO WAS REGARDED AS BEING EQUAL TO THE POPE,LOL,IN MY MOTHER'S,AND OTHERS EYES,TO ME,HE WAS COOL,AND MY FRIEND,A TRUE UNCLE,EVEN THROUGH THE MISCHIEF OF A CHILD.
FOR THAT WAS WHAT IT WAS,MISCHIEF AND A LEARNING OF A CHILD,PURE AND SIMPLE.
THE PROBLEM WAS,THE SO CALLED REPRESENTATIVES OF GOD AND JESUS,WHO REPRESENTED THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH,AND THERE FOLLOWERS,THE ELDERS OF THE CHILDREN,FATHERS AND MOTHERS,FAMILIES,KNEW ONLY ONE WAY,DISCIPLINE,AND GOD,JESUS AND THE VIRGIN MARY'S DISCIPLINE AT THAT,WHICH WAS SADISTIC,RUTHLESS,PAINFUL,HUMILIATING,DEGRADING,AND FAR FROM THE LOVE OF GOD,JESUS AND THE VIRGIN MARY,THEY SAID LOVED US.
IRONIC.

THE FUNNY THING ABOUT MY FAMILY IS,ON BOTH SIDES,THROUGH THE GENERATIONS,ALCOHOL HAS BEEN WITHIN ALL OF THEM,AT DIFFERENT STAGES IN THEIR OWN PERSONAL GROWING,AS FLESH AND SOUL.
DRUNK,SOBER,SOBER,DRUNK,THE NEVER ENDING STORY.
BIT LIKE THE RELIGIONS OF MY FAMILY,THE STEWART'S,FROM CATHOLIC TO PROTESTANT AND BACK AGAIN,AND IF YOU GO BACK FURTHER ENOUGH TO JEW,EGYPTIAN AND AFRICAN.
WHICH IN ITSELF IS MADNESS IF TRUTH BE TOLD,FOR GOING BY MY FAMILY HISTORY,DNA,ALL ARE ONE,IN TRUTH,THOUGH DIVIDED,LOL,ALCOHOL IS ANOTHER DIVIDER,IF LEFT UNCHECKED,FOR THY HEALTH SAKE.
RELIGION I CAN HANDLE NOW AS AN ADULT,ESPECIALLY BEING A STEWART,AND COMING FROM NORTHERN IRELAND,THE EMERALD ISLE,FOR DAILY I SEE THE MADNESS OF RELIGION ON MY STREETS,WHICH HAS COME ABOUT BY MY FAMILY OF OLD FALLING OUT,THE BATTLE OF THE BOYNE.

KING WILLIAM WHO WAS PROTESTANT,THOUGH WAS BORN CATHOLIC WAS MARRIED TO MARY STEWART,WHO WAS CATHOLIC,BUT CHANGED,WHO WAS DAUGHTER OF KING JAMES WHO WAS CATHOLIC :(
AND YOU WONDER WHY WE DRINK.

RELIGION I CAN HANDLE,FOR I KNOW ITS FOLLY IN MY WISER YEARS,BUT DRINK,I NOW RESPECT IN MY WISER YEARS,EVENTUALLY,MAY I ADD,FOR SHE IS A HARD TEACHER WITHOUT WISDOM BY YOUR SIDE.

TO BE CONTINUED......

SAN DOM DE NANTA VAN SAN NANTESS ESTANTO PEEPS?